How To Get The Perfect Body, In Five Easy Steps (Poem)

STEP #1

Stand in front of the mirror
feet shoulder width apart
hands on hips;
take your biggest insecurity
and make it your superhero name.

Is it a bird?
Is it a plane?

No, it’s THUNDER THIGHS
and THE CELLULITE KID
here to remind Gotham City
that beauty standards are bullshit.

STEP #2

Find your port in the storm.

Ignore the siren-songs
that whisper imperfections
in your sleep,
the myriad voices waiting for you
to dash yourself against the rocks—
they’re wrong.

Find something they cannot refute:
hold onto it with a white-knuckle grip,
anchor yourself there
until the storm clouds pass.

STEP #3

Resist the urge
to apologise for your own abundance;
the longing to feel small in someone else’s hands
is a falsehood you need to unlearn.

You are worth the space you occupy,
and leagues beyond.

STEP #4

Remind yourself
that there is no such thing
as objective beauty.

Remember that Aphrodite changes
in the eye of each beholder;
that even her form is rendered
with stomach rolls
with a strong jaw
with uneven breasts.

Remember that the Venus of Willendorf
looked down upon herself
and declared it to be beautiful.

STEP #5

Repeat steps one to four as necessary.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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