The Creepypasta BAFTAs

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Creepypastas, for those who don’t know, are the Internet equivalent of camp-fire ghost stories; creative and creepy flashes of fiction and/or pictures that get passed around the Internet, reaching various levels of notoriety. Being both a fan of horror and flash fiction, I’ve read my way through my fair share of them; and so, in celebration of the upcoming Halloween, I present to you the Creepypasta BAFTAs!

[NOTE: I accept no responsibility for any nightmares caused by the contents of this blog post.]

Most Widespread Creepypasta Award – Slenderman

As far as I can tell from my extensive and arduous five minutes of googling, Slenderman originated on the Something Awful forums as  a competition entry – two photos of him lurking around a bunch of children, and an accompanying story about how those children went missing. He was quickly snapped up by other creepypasta creators and since then, has steadily risen to his position as the King of the Creepypastas. I’d bet the average person is much more likely to be able to describe Slenderman to you than define the word “creepypasta”, and we’ve yet to see any other creepypasta names like Jeff the KillerSmile Dog and The Rake get their own video game (though I’m sure it’s only a matter of time).

Imagine battling this guy on the xbox in the dark. Jeez.

For more information, click HERE.

Shortest Creepypasta Award – Knock

“The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock at the door….”

This also wins the award for the oldest creepypasta because it was, in fact, written in 1948… well before Tim Burners-Lee gave birth to the Internet. As well as being a microfiction in its own right, it is also the first two lines of a short science-fiction story by Fredric Brown; having read the story, I much prefer the two-sentence version. Leaves a lot more to the imagination.

Longest Creepypasta Award – BEN DROWNED (or “Majora’s Mask”)

Okay, so maybe you’re groaning at this inclusion since it’s gone horribly viral, but this lengthy beast is still worth the time it takes to read. Comprised of chat logs, videos and prose, it chronicles the experiences of a young man who buys a Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask game cartridge haunted by “Ben”, who drowned in a lake as a child.

Read Ben Drowned HERE

Dumbest Creepypasta Award – The Day Of All The Blood and WHO WAS PHONE

One of the unfortunate things about fiction on the Internet is that sometimes, one has to sift through layers and layers of the mediocre and the downright dumb to get to the good stuff. These two pieces, however, are almost so bad they’re good. ALMOST.

Urge… to correct… spelling and grammar… rising…

 

I can’t tell if WHO WAS PHONE is a monumentally failed attempt at a genuine creepypasta or simply a parody by a trolling forum user – either way, it’s ridiculous. The Day Of All The Blood, however, is just downright – well – weird. I won’t explain it, but do enjoy this rather amusing dramatic reading complete with trippy animation.

The Childhood Ruiner Award – Squidward’s Suicide and Dead Bart

The “Lost Episode” is a common form for creepypastas to take, and these two are by far the most notorious examples. Both are anecdotes, in which the narrator watches an unscreened episode of Spongebob Squarepants/ The Simpsons – at first, the episode seems a little off, and gradually becomes more and more twisted until you will never look at Squidward Tentacles or Bart Simpson in quite the same way again. “Squidward’s Suicide” is the scarier of the two, but the last paragraph or so of “Dead Bart” really got me.

Read Squidward’s Suicide HERE
Read Dead Bart HERE

Best Plot Twist Award – Candle Cove

“Candle Cove” is told through an online comment thread, in which several users discuss their memories of a children’s TV show of the same name from the 1970s. It starts off innocent enough; but as the comment thread progresses, people’s memories of the show become more morbid and frightening…

Read Candle Cove HERE

Best Picture Creepypasta Award – Who Are You Running From?

This is an odd choice, perhaps, given that there are plenty of more disturbing creepypasta pictures out there, but I picked this one because unlike the many other haunted-games-console stories, the story behind this one is entirely true. Back when every kid owned a game-boy, there was an accessory called the “Game Boy Camera” which allowed you to take small, grainy photographs with your games console. On the menu were five options, the last of which was the word “Run”, a word which became responsible for scaring the pants off small children in Japan and America all through the nineties. When “Run” was selected, the screen would freeze for three seconds, and abruptly switch to this:

Needless to say, any child in possession of a Game Boy Camera lived in perpetual fear of accidentally selecting that option.

 

And, finally…

Scariest Creepypasta Award – The Russian Sleep Experiment

This one is downright disturbing: a gruesome account of how Russian scientists test a gas designed to keep people awake around the clock on five political prisoners, and the slow descent into insanity as the prolonged sleep deprivation drives the test subjects completely and utterly out of their minds. This resonated with me particularly, given that I’m an insomniac (I once stayed awake for near enough five days and ended up having a lengthy conversation with my cat before deciding that my bed had eyes and spending several minutes muttering that I wasn’t “going to sleep in that monstrosity” – true story). Quite a lengthy creepypasta, and certainly not for the faint-hearted, this story is so convincingly written in the style of a factual historical report that I almost genuinely believed it… it also made me feel rather queasy.

Read it HERE.

Honorable Mentions

Bad Dream

Short but sweet, this one is a personal favourite. It is not by any means the scariest I have have ever read, but the second person narrative and the excellent cliff-hanger are brilliantly executed.

Read it HERE.

PLEASE WAKE UP

Only a little longer than “Bad Dream”, this one-paragraph wonder uses meta in a way that leaves a lasting impression.

Read it HERE.

An Hour Ago

Very cleverly done, with chilling narrative symmetry – I had this as a runner-up for the Best Plot Twist Award.

Read it HERE

The Other Watcher

Not the best-written creepypastaa out there, but still worth a mention; a three-paragraph quickie that you read, read again, and then back away from very quickly as you realise what just happened. Another runner-up for the Best Plot Twist Award.

Read it HERE

And thus concludes my halloween master post… happy nightmares!

– AnnaMay

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3 thoughts on “The Creepypasta BAFTAs

    Producer said:
    November 8, 2012 at 8:47 am

    Does anyone know who wrote The Russian Sleep Experiment?

    I’m looking into film adaptation rights status for this story.

    If you are the author or know the author, please email me at info@titlemedia.eu

    Thank you!

      annamayfox said:
      March 8, 2013 at 1:53 pm

      I’m afraid I don’t know, sorry.

    Tamya (@freshtamya) said:
    December 8, 2013 at 4:25 am

    Actually, doesn’t Jeff The Killer have a game

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